I want to marry him but I don't want to have sex before I get married. Am I wrong for this?

He is a great guy and we have been together for an year now. We love amd respect each other and we both see marriage in our future. But I have a firm resolution of not having sex before I marry. It's not a religious issue or something like that. I just don't want to do it with anyone but the man I marry. It's a special thing which I want to share with my husband only. Ofcourse things are great between me and my boyfriend and I do want to marry him at some point of time but life is highly uncertain. What if we break up down the line.. Then I will regret having sex with him. And the thing is he has been wanting to have sex with me lately. He says he loves me and since we are so serious about each other, there is no harm in doing it
When I say no to him he is obviously hurt. Am I being unreasonable here. I am 25 he is 36



The only thing wrong is you possibly not being clear about not wanting sex before marriage. It's great that you feel that way, and more women should. However if you've told him this, why is he still asking you. Does he not respect your wishes, or have you not told him?

You've been together for a year, so it's clear he's not just with you for sex. Are you doing other sexual things to satisfy each other? This may at least let him know you find him attractive and have a healthy sex drive. These might also be a concern of his.


If you don't want to be intimate with this man then that's your decision..

However you said that the reason isn't religious so could it potentially be that you are either scared of intimacy or that you can't imagine being intimate with this man in particular

Have you ever thought of him in a sexual way? Do you look forwards to having sex with this man or is it more that it's just part of a marriage?

Sex isn't a magical thing when it happens the first time, it's awkward and quite often fairly unpleasant- do you really want that to be your wedding night?could cause a fairly awkward situation especially if he's older and more experienced.

Ultimately it's your decision and whatever you do don't feel pressurised by anyone to do something you don't want to do. Maybe just think about the reasons that you don't want to do it and it may be more to do with the person you're with than actually how you feel.
 

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Anika Devi received her Bachelor’s degree in Media, Culture and Communication from New York University in 2012. She began freelancing for Business Solutions BD in 2010 and joined the team as a staff writer three years later. She currently serves as the assistant editor.
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