Can love still drive mad?

Our time loves the emotionally correct, hates suffering. She invented dating sites to locate the object of her desire, to "consume" without being upset ... Despite the protection that the screens are supposed to bring, love continues to defy the laws of reason.

We thought we were stronger than he was. Put love under control, domesticate it. But it is not because we can now geolocate an object of desire, consume it without waiting and throw it away after use that we had the last word. On the most pragmatic social networks and dating sites, it is the overflows and capsizing of unreasonable love sought by many adepts. It is also the "big eight" of the devouring passion that haunts the last album 

Can love still drive mad?
1 of the young singer Maissiat, straight in the line of the most famous lovers of French song. Françoise Hardy has devoted a book to this sentimental maze 

2, in which she describes her passion for an elusive being. " Romanticism, Which has sacralized mad love, is not limited to the so-called romantic era, summarizes the writer Ariane Charlton 

3. He preceded her and survived her for a long time. This thirst for the absolute belongs to human nature. Our framed and consumerist society has not overcome this madness. "

One recognizes the other, one no longer recognizes one another
"I did not meet her, I knew her," tries to explain Rémi, crazy about Sarah for a few months. This is usually the first symptom. "Mad" love is a revelation, evidence. Even if the other is absolutely not "our kind," even if it is exactly the opposite of what would be "good" for us, we "recognize" it. On the other hand, one no longer knows oneself. Unable to resist, suddenly dispossessed of all will. "The machine got packed right away," Remi continues. From the first night, it was folded. Knotted. Uncontrollable. 
Sarah is not 20, Rémi, him, 54, and three children, the last of the age of Sarah. "When you're a normal, civilized, intelligent being," he said, "you know it's not possible. Not viable. But you're still going, you can not do otherwise. That's what's crazy. "

Beyond the rational, the logical. Out of control. All those who have already been "lovers of love" juggle with the vocabulary of the supernatural: "magic," "spell," "miracle," "possession" ... There is no word to describe this impression at Both delicious and nauseating to escape to oneself. To be suddenly capable of the worst as of the best. Transcended. When Georges debuts in his life, Milena is 35 years old. She is married, a quiet mother of two children aged 3 and 7. She could never have foreseen the cataclysm. "From the first meeting, I felt something physically striking me, and something inside me that was melting from within," she recalls. I was ready for anything for George. Sometimes, at night, I waited for everyone to sleep at home to join him. We made love as if our days were numbered. And I came back, like a thief, without an ounce of guilt. "

Addiction of bodies, of hearts, obsession, metamorphosis ... But also compulsion, regression, hallucination, paranoia ... All the lexicon of psychiatry can pass. Hélène, 45 years old today, still does not come back from having camped on Ricardo's (presumed) landing, which she "adored," and which made her crazy with her mysteries and her unpredictable disappearances. "Ricardo, it was my" wolf, "she recalled three years later. Dark, wild, mysterious. A Meetic thunderbolt. Long, he played on the virtual. The longer he delayed our encounter, the more my desire flamed. The day he finally came to me, I was already all his own. 

My friends were worried. Not me. This unknown dominant who landed to make love to me filled me. I rarely enjoyed it as with him. This man of whom I knew nothing (neither his real name, nor his true address, nor his work ...) triggered in me an addiction which he maintained in virtuosity for more than a year: all to me when he was with But equally unpredictable, elusive. I never knew when he closed the door when I saw him again. What made me literally "crazy" ... of him. When he definitely disappeared, I experienced a real weaning. I do not think the hero can be worse. " When he definitely went, I experienced an actual weaning. I do not believe the hero can be worse. " When he definitely went, I experienced an actual weaning. I do not believe the hero can be worse. "

Yes, love can go crazy. The word is not too strong. The specialists of our intimate mechanisms (psych, biologists ...) confirm this. Even in the 21st century, even via the Internet. "Our age is suspicious of love," commented the psychoanalyst Catherine Vanier. We are careful because we know that madness is waiting. But speed dating and the web will not change anything. How many patients - especially women, who have a greater capacity to give themselves unreservedly - assert to me: "In love, me? Never! "They consume on dating sites" like men ," then return, sometime later," stiff lovers in love ." We may surround ourselves with screens, both literally and figuratively, to protect ourselves from others, the risk is always there. "

Total invasion

But what a better risk to run? "To be crazy about love is what we have more wonderful to experiment," continues the psychoanalyst. Which makes us lower our protections, walk on the head, and live delicious things ... To miss is to lose life. Yes, as long as one remains in the madness mad, "the banal neurosis," as summarizes the psychiatrist and addictologist Michel Reynaud. "We talk about madness because we lose our reason," he says with a smile. In fact, biologically, the cerebral state changes, we are overregulated: we then observe, in the brain, a hyperfunctioning of the areas of the search for pleasure and hypofunctional areas of critical analysis ... The invasion is total. It is a state of obliteration around a single object, Which is reminiscent of the mechanisms of addiction: a rare pleasure has taken place, it has become indispensable to our mental stability, responsible for all our happiness and all our suffering. Well beyond reasonable. Most of us spend a day there. And fortunately. Without that, no one would leave his parents as a teenager, and no one would ever break a couple once married ... It is the interest of this madness, to allow us to perform acts otherwise unimaginable. " And no one would ever break a couple once married ... It is the interest of this madness, to enable us to perform acts otherwise unimaginable. " And no one would ever break a couple once married ... It is the interest of this madness, to enable us to perform acts otherwise unimaginable. "

It is the enchantment of the nascent love, genetically programmed in us to ensure the survival of the species, demonstrated the neurobiologists 

4. It takes a bit of madness to overcome his anxiety on the other and blindly attach himself to a being. 

At least the time to have a progeny together and make it able to stand. About three years calibrate scientists. Often less, rarely more, to the great despair of addicted passion.

"The prototype of this love," continues Michel Reynaud, "is undoubtedly that of the infant and his mother: an unlimited, close-knit exchange of dependence and absolute satisfaction. It is perhaps this primordial state that one seeks, and that one finds again, in mad love. Our first link. Vital. Be two but make one. Risky betting, because the pies have warned us against fusion ... "When the other must belong to you and you to him, love can swing into the mortar, reveal hatred (harassment, possession, jealousy ...), explains Still Catherine Vanier. It is so powerful that if one goes to the end, one dies. "

The runaway has only one time

It all depends on what we do with the passionate runaway. In general, he calms down himself (sometimes before the famous three years). End of the story for some. Passage to love for others. "We can transform it," says the psychoanalyst. It's a job, a reinvention every day. The ability to love another in its difference is part of the signs of the end of an analysis. "

Amorous madness has only one time. In general. Except for borderline personalities, in which love can blow up all the locks. But it is only a trigger. No one becomes "mad" who was not already, latently, invisible sometimes. What is hardly reassuring, for how to know, before diving, the extent of our fragility? "There is no diagnosis to assess risks," Catherine Vanier smiles. No test to ensure we can go there safely. But that's no reason not to try! "

What is Sex?

Human sexuality represents a field of behavioral, social, cultural and civilizational research more or less linked to the realization of sexual pleasures. Sexology, born of the physiological and psychological analysis of sexual disorders, is considered to be the science of sexuality in the human being, in its medical and sociological components (including and especially those of neurobiology, psychiatry and psychoanalysis).

In the broadest sense, sexuality can also be defined as a "social practice" engendering sexual behaviors in which, for a given individual, there are sexual orientations and, at the level of society, structured social norms Around historical or religious constraints, medical or legal. The psychoanalytic notions of perversions and the law set the limits considered socially acceptable orientations or behaviors (harassment, sexual abuse of minors, rape).

This multiplicity of factors makes human sexuality an area where medical (health, prevention), social, philosophical (pleasure) or political (militancy, legislation) issues are expressed.

The psychoanalyst Herbert Rosenfeld in an attempt to explain and define sexuality in its entirety, taking into account paraphilia, set out three basic ideas. The first point is that according to Rosenfeld one can distinguish in all and for all three categories of acts of a sexual nature, which are: the pleasure of penetration, the pleasure to get dirty, and finally the pleasure to Find crushed (eg trampled). For him, these three forms mix more or less in all sexuality, knowing that the normal form privileges the act of penetration.

The second point is that in all forms of sexuality one finds first an act which one wishes to realize, then secondly, the organ on which phantasm is carried, and which is the part of the body which, Partner, makes it possible to carry out the sexual act in question. Now it is this act that decides the part of the body on which desire will be directed. This would explain in particular the fetishism of the foot. The third and last point is that generally speaking in every sexual act there are two actors, each having an opposite and complementary role. Indeed, for each of the three basic acts mentioned above, one can distinguish between an active agent and another passive: penetrating / getting penetrated, dirtying / getting dirty, crushing / crushing. These pleasures seem indeed opposite and complementary.

Sexual behavior is not restricted to sexual intercourse and is very diverse. They can be realized alone, in pairs, or in "group" and do not necessarily imply coitus. Religions usually fix the norms of this behavior (such as the obligation of a reproductive purpose in Catholic doctrine), following a structure that can be deconstructed by historical (cf. Alain Corbin) or philosophical ( Cf Michel Onfray) or neurological (see Erotic behavior Serge Wunsch).

The diversity of human sexual behavior is explained by changes in the human brain during evolution. The reproductive behavior of mammals has become an erotic behavior in hominids, and especially in humans, whose aim is the search for erotic pleasure by stimulating erogenous zones.

How to make love to a man and make him crazy!

"Good" making love, is not an art reserved for men, on the contrary. There are a thousand tricks to make these gentlemen climb the curtains and not just mimic the starfish while waiting for it to happen.

Develop all its erogenous zones!

We do not live the pleasure the same way. Male excitement is more centered on stimulation of the genitals than in women. But it is possible to develop his sensitivity! For example, try to stroke her nipples while masturbating, you will train this area to be more "receptive" to pleasure.
How to make love to a man and make him crazy!
The testicles, the perineum, the anus and the prostate are parts linked to the genitals and essential to its excitement. Do not forget that a man is not reduced to his penis! Testicles and perineum can be massaged at any time, during masturbation, fellatio and even penetration (depending on the positions). These are excellent "boosters" of fun!
How to have sex?

The anal zone is more delicate to approach for some men because it is sometimes synonymous with homosexuality and / or pain. And yet! It is a sensitive and very erogenous zone. You can begin by massaging the muscles of the anus outdoors so that it finds this place attractive and pleasant before going further. The good news is that you can also indirectly massage the prostate without introducing a finger into the back of the gentleman. There is a famous point in the Tao tradition, the point "a million dollars". It is located on the perineum, halfway between the anus and the scrotum, and one can press his finger into it. You just have to press firmly so you can touch it.

Get your senses alive!

Increase the temperature. The variations of warmth and cold are an excellent stimulant for the skin and play on the blood flow. Try to drink hot tea before a blowjob! The effect of surprise is guaranteed. Do not hesitate to be greedy: spread its body of chocolate, whipped cream or scented lubricants ... The food is intimately related to sex.

A little sensory deprivation. Tie it or strip your eyes: your caresses will be more intense, more unexpected, different. Play with desire, frustration and surprise.

And all in music... Why are we sometimes crossed by a wave of pleasure, to the point of having the goosebumps by listening to a guitar riff or an opera? Researchers have addressed this question and have given an answer: when listening to music, the brain begins to produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter that causes an immense feeling of satisfaction. This phenomenon is observed in exactly the same way during sexual intercourse. These are the same brain circuits that are activated when you make love and when you listen to music. By doing both at the same time, we add pleasure to pleasure, we potentialize it!

Let yourself go...

Your body speaks for you. Body language is one of the first forms of communication, it is very animal and very instinctive. Do not hesitate to free your gestures, your desires, your impulses ... Rip your clothes, do a striptease, cambrez, you caress, bite, suck. Do not brake yourself: nobody is ridiculous when it comes from the guts.

Free your word. Many couples sometimes feel that words can "destroy" the magic of the moment and thus prefer to make love in silence. So yes, it is not a matter of commenting as in a football match, however, expressing his excitement, describing what one is going to do to his partner with raw words and pigs is a formidable aphrodisiac.
Surprise it!


Invent roles. Playing a different character can allow your partner to look at you from a new angle and discover another facet of your personality. This new form of communication can be very stimulating for the couple. 

Also try new practices: nothing worse than using eternally the same tips to exhilarate him. Tantric massages, bondage, sex-toys, new positions ... Test two of the unknown experiences! No one is immune to beautiful discoveries.

For even more pep's under the duvet, why not try a role-playing game?

Do not forget that what makes a man mad is above all a woman who assumes full and who is full in his sexuality. So ladies, it's up to you to play!

And another episode, always with Cerise, on the libertine clubs, just below

Follow by Email

 

Contributors

My photo

Anika Devi received her Bachelor’s degree in Media, Culture and Communication from New York University in 2012. She began freelancing for Business Solutions BD in 2010 and joined the team as a staff writer three years later. She currently serves as the assistant editor.
Worked well for Website DA, Entrepreneurship, Starting a Blog, Payoneer MasterCard, Sex Tips, Phone Sex, So how do you think? Want to get into her pants? Read here