Illustrator Tutorial – Create a Gang of Vector Ninjas

It can be quite tricky getting the hang of Adobe Illustrator, but if you take a step back and concentrate on the basics there's a range of options for creating great looking images. In this tutorial, we'll take a look at constructing a group of cool vector ninja characters using just the basic shapes and a variety of simple tools, making it a good start for Illustrator beginners.


After opening up Adobe Illustrator, create a new document. For a fun project the size of the document doesn't matter, Illustrator has a vast area of artboard beyond the document edges that can be used. I personally use the CMYK color mode out of habit and the ease of managing blacks, but a wider range of colours are available with RGB. The choice should really depend on the final outcome of the project; print or web.

Depending whether your Illustrator software has the default settings, you might want to check the options for the scaling of strokes and effects, this little option could save you a headache layer down the line.

Grab the Circle Tool and draw a shape on the artboard, hold the SHIFT key to create a perfectly equal object. By default this will have a white fill and black stroke.

Select the Square Tool and draw another shape on the artboard, position this to overlap the original circle. Use the Align Palette to centre the two shapes horizontally.

From the same menu, use the Rounded Rectange Tool to draw a small leg. Adjust the roundness of the corners with the keyboard cursor keys until the ends are completely circular.
Zoom in and position the leg exactly in relation to the edge of the square body.

Duplicate the leg and move into position for the remaining limbs, for the arms rotate the shape by 45 degrees. To position the shapes behind the other objects, press the CTRL + [ and CTRL + ] keys repeatedly to adjust the stacking order of the selected objects.

Draw another perfect circle onto the artboard, and beside it a much larger oval. Overlap the two and use the Align Palette to position exactly.

With the two shapes selected, click the Subtract from Shape Area option from the Pathfinder palette. Click the Expand button to refresh the bounding box of the shape.
By using temporary shapes as tools along with the Pathfinder options, a range of custom objects can be created.

Position this semi-circular shape within the large circle of the character to represent the facial area. Draw in a small circle as an eye, fill this with a black swatch and clear any stroke. Copy and paste in front (CTRL + F), then move horizontally to the side (hold SHIFT to constrain the axis)
Grouping any pairs of objects, such as the eyes and arms will allow them to be centralised with the other objects using the Align Palette without being moved individually.

With the complete line-work character laid out and aligned, draw a selection around the complete object and copy and paste a duplicate. Move a copy off to the side as a backup.

With all the objects that make up the torso and limbs selected, chose the Add to Shape Area option from the Pathfinder tool and Expand to merge the shapes into one.

Fill the body elements with a very dark grey (95% black) and add a 4pt stroke aligned to the outside at 100% black.

In the Appearance Palette, click the small options arrow and select Add New Stroke.

This time, add a 4pt stroke aligned to the inside, with a lighter, 93% black. This multiple use of strokes is a technique I've come to use in my character designs which really helps lift the colours by adding a little depth and variation.

Select the facial area and fill with a pale skin tone, add a slightly thinner stroke at 3pt aligned to the outside using the 93% black.

Add a New Stroke through the Appearance Palette and give this line a slightly darker tone, aligned to the inside of the shape.

The basic version of the character is complete, ready for some stealthy ninja action.

Copy and paste multiple variations of the original line-work character. Adjust and rotate the limbs into a range of scary ninja combat positions, adjust the stacking order of the arms to in front or behind the body to give different effects.

With each individual character, repeat the process of merging shapes and colouring the objects to produce a group of cool ninjas. However, no ninja would be complete without combat accessories…

Create a staff using a long thin rectangle, fill the object with brown while adding a black outline.

Create a pointed object using the Star Tool, using the Direct Selection Tool select each of the points of the path from each arm of the star.

Upon selecting the Rotate Tool, the point of origin will automatically default to the centre of the object. Click and drag to adjust the overall shape of the star.

Draw a solid circle in the centre and fill the death star weapon with a metal like grey. Add a black outline and a secondary inner stroke with a slightly darker grey.

Using the same colour scheme, draw a triangle by dragging a shape with the Star Tool and pressing the downwards cursor key to reduce the number of points. Grab the upper most point with the Direct Selection Tool and drag vertically.

Select and drag the middle two points to squash the lower half into a sword like shape. Finalise this with a small brown rectangle, remember the majority of the handle would be concealed by the hand so only a small section is required.

Use the Pen Tool to neatly draw in a three sided shape to represent the chamfered finish of the sword blade.

Create two Nunchuk handles and the beginning and end points of the adjoining chain. With both chain elements selected head to Object > Blend > Make

Go back to Object > Blend > Blend Options, enter 5 under the Specified Steps option to alter the type of blend to give a line of individual items.

Use the Pen or Pencil tool to draw a temporary line to symbolise the desired route of the Nunchuk chain, with this and the blend selected, go to Object > Blend > Replace Spine.

Group each individual weapon and move into place on the various characters, completing the group making them ready for action!

Using basic vector shapes, a stylish and fun image can be created using just the basic functions of Adobe Illustrator.

$1,052,500 Tyrannosaur sale proceeds despite court order

A controversial Tyrannosaur fossil skeleton sold for $1,052,500 in a Manhattan auction on Sunday, despite a Texas judge's order halting the sale.
Mongolian officials had called for a halt to the sale of the 24-foot-long and eight-foot-tall "Tyrannosaurus bataar" (a smaller cousin of T. Rex) on Friday, as USA TODAY reported earlier, citing concern that it had been exported illegally from their country.
The 75% complete fossil skeleton, "has sold for $1,052,500, contingent upon resolution of a Texas state court proceeding," Heritage Auctions of Dallas announced on Sunday. The sale proceeded although Mongolia, acting through its attorney, Robert Painter, had convinced a Texas District court judge to issue a restraining order stopping the sale on Saturday.
"The proceedings were not without event, however, as Mongolia's Texas-based attorney, without authority from the New York judicial system, tried to interrupt the auction," the auction house noted in a statement on the sale. According to Painter's law firm, the lawyer stood up at the beginning of the auction with the Texas judge on his cell phone and noted the restraining order. He was asked to leave and the auction proceeded.
"I am very surprised that Heritage Auctions, Inc. knowingly defied a valid court order, particularly with the judge on the phone, listening and ready to explain his order," Painter says, in a statement.
The British newspaper, The Daily Mail, has quoted David Herskowitz, director of natural history at Heritage Auctions as saying "The specimen was found over 10 years ago in the Gobi desert and is owned by a fossil collector from Dorset."
Auctions of dinosaur fossils has long excited controversy, with paleontologists decrying their loss to scholarship in private hands and the possible spur to looting that they represent. The $8.36 million sale of a Tyrannosaurus Rex ("Tyrannosaur Sue") lead to lawsuits, legal raids and charitable giving to scrape up funding for the winning bid from Chicago's Field Museum.

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30 Essential SEO Resources for Beginners

For many bloggers, SEO seems like some kind of black magic that only super technical people can ever get the hang of.
I’ll admit, starting out with SEO can be very intimidating.
The massive amounts of information (and misinformation) is enough to send any blogger into a state I like to call “information paralysis”, where they are unable to act.
I’d like to alleviate some of that today.
Below I’ve outlined some of the most essential and trusted SEO resources, from blogs, to tools, to guides, to forums and conferences: it’s all here.
Dive in below, and don’t let the fear of learning something new stop you from utilizing this great inbound marketing aspect.

SEO Blogs

It’s always good practice to keep updated on the world of SEO with the top SEO blogs.
Below I’ve outlined a few of my personal favorites, covering search engine news, tips, and algorithm changes.

• Search Engine Land – One of the biggest blogs on search engine news and information.
• SEOmoz – One of my favorite SEO blogs, I’m also a contributor, split between the main blog and the YouMoz blog, filled with good SEO articles.
• SEO Book – Aaron Wall creates some truly great articles, love him or hate him, you should be reading his blog.
• Matt Cutts – Head of Google’s webpam team, you should probably listen to him or something.
• Search Engine Journal – Great blog for link building, PPC, and optimization information.
• Google’s Blog – Google’s main blog, not much on SEO specifically, but it’s good to know what Big G is up to.

SEO Guides

Blogs can be an incredible source of information.
Unfortunately, for the newbie, they are too split up: info is spread throughout hundreds (or thousands) of posts.
These complete guides offer a more thorough offering on learning SEO.

• Google’s SEO Start Guide – Official Google guide to getting started with SEO.
• Beginner’s Guide to SEO – The most essential read for beginners, and it’s pretty too!
• The Periodic Table Of SEO Ranking Factors – Excellent visual guide to SEO.
• SEO Copywriting Guide – The SEO Copywriting guide is a must read
• Marketing Terms – Confused about what “SEO”, “SEM”, “PPC”, or “inbound marketing”? Learn all of the necessary phrases here.
• Search Engine Ranking Factors Guide – Another great guide, this time on ranking factors, from SEOmoz
• Simplifying SEO Guide – Great guide on how to keep SEO simple.
• SEO Cheat Sheet – Another must read for website owners from SEOmoz.

SEO Tools

SEO can be an immense time sink if you aren’t careful.
Definitely check out a few of the SEO tools below that can save you countless hours and a ton of frustration.
Just be sure not to spend too much time playing around with the tools instead of actually using them!

• Google Keyword Tool – If there is one “getting started” tool that you must learn about, it’s this one. Know it well, you’ll use it forever (or at least as long as Google is around).
• SEOmoz’s Tools – A comprehensive suite of tools that I’ve started to fall in love with. It’s paid (and a premium price), but very useful.
• Google Webmaster Tools – If you are going to play Big G’s game (whitehat style), you need to use their tools.
• Open Site Explorer – A individual SEOmoz tool that’s perfect for checking competitor’s backlinks, as well as other metrics. More comprehensive if you’re a pro user.
• Serp IQ – One of my recent favorite tools to emerge on the market, tons of great uses from competition analysis to keyword discovery, this tool is insanely fast and has a ton of great features.
• Scribe SEO – A super useful tool (especially if you are focusing on WordPress SEO) because it breaks down keyword density to perfection.
• SpyFu – Great for spying on your competitors, specifically their advertising.
• Wordtracker Keyword Tool – A classic, must use for keyword research.
• Market Samurai – Still one of the best keyword analysis tools on the market, perfect for checking SEO competition, although it runs somewhat slowly (Adobe Air).

SEO Forums

Although guides and blogs can offer a ton of essential information, sometimes you are going to have questions.
Forums are a great spot to get these questions answered.

• Webmaster World – One of the oldest forums for website owners.
• Digital Point Forum – Useful, but can be a time sink: remember, it’s always better to do more work and less reading.
• Search Engine Watch Forum – Very popular forum tied to Search Engine Watch.

Conferences

A bit advanced for most, but a great way to really dive into SEO is to know about (and go to) the many search engine related conferences.

• SES Conference – SES is the leading global event series about search and social marketing, with a focus on tactics and best practices.
• Blueglass – BlueGlass’ Internet Marketing Conferences have quickly become known in the web marketing circles as being premier events for learning the latest strategies, interacting with the speakers and networking
• Search Marketing Expo – Another leading search engine conference.

The 5 Deadly Sins of Blogging (And How to Avoid Them)

A lot of beginner bloggers do a heavy about of sinning when they first start out…
I’m not saying they’re bad people, it’s just that they are committing nearly all of the deadly sins that bloggers need to look out for.
“But wait, aren’t there 7 deadly sins?”
In the religious context, yes, but as a blogger, there are really only 5 sins you need to worry about…

1.) Gluttony

“What does gluttony have to do with blogging?”
Simply put: when you “consume” too much and don’t create some kind of output, you are being gluttonous.
For bloggers, this comes in the form of information rather than things like food.
The over-consumption of information is dangerous, it leads to someone who is always out on the prowl for the newest trick or tactic, but who has never put them into practice.
This is especially important if you read a lot of “blogging about blogging” blogs (hey, I’m just being brutally honest, as usual).
It’s not that they don’t provide value, it’s that they can get you captivated in the “ooh shiny” mentality, getting caught up in the so called ‘latest and greatest’ when you should be busy implementing a solid foundation of techniques that work, including things like creating great content and writing guest posts to promote that content.

2.) Greed

A lot of bloggers are susceptible to this sin, hell, even established bloggers are suspect.
So, what is it about greed that can really hold a blogger back?
First of all, greed often has people putting up invasive advertisements & promoting crappy products, all the while not maintaining a focus on building a thriving audience.
Your readers are not commodities, they can be loyal customers if you treat them well, and brand advocates if you treat them very well.
They are also people, would you want to be treated in misleading ways on another person’s website?
Of course not, so don’t promote filth with an affiliate link just to make a quick buck, and don’t throw up advertisements on your second week blogging: build an audience, build an email list, and treat people with the courtesy that they deserve, there’s much more to blogging than making a quick buck.

3.) Pride

This sin is a surefire way to failure.
“My content is so good, I don’t have to promote it, the quality will do the talking!”
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but here’s two things why that won’t work:

1. You are probably overrating how good your content is (it’s your “baby”, you’re bound to see it differently)
2. There is a ton of great content on the web now, businesses often have content strategists that work on just their blog (like I with my posts on the HelpScout blog)

The overall point: It’s a competitive market; scratch that, a hyper competitive market, in almost every niche!
There are people who are paid to do what you are trying to succeed with, how can you hope to compete?
Great content is now the price of entry, NOT the defining factor for a successful blog.
So, how can you market your content without being a sleazebag?
You’re reading a method right now: write for other blogs in your space, that one should be obvious to you if you aren’t totally new.
You also need to be creating content that’s easy to plug into conversations.
You needn’t be afraid of emailing people about a new piece of yours if it relates to them in some general way, such as if they are in the same industry.
Want to know how I got Neil Patel, a guy with 100,000+ follows, to tweet about my article?
I asked him!
Crazy, ain’t it?
I told him that I had this planned as a guest post for his site, but thought it went with my brand better.
I also (via email, the best social network) asked if he wouldn’t mind sharing the piece if he enjoyed it.
He tweeted it within the hour, he’s a nice dude!
You shouldn’t be badgering the same people every time to you post something new, but reaching out to new folks from time to time will do amazing things for your blog’s promotion, trust me.

4.) Sloth

Oh man, this one can get a lot of people.
I’ve had people email me about their struggles with their blog, and when I got to visit it, they haven’t posted in 2 months!
That’s an extreme example, and sometimes it’s more insidious: people who are posting regularly, but doing nothing to market their content.
Sometimes, it might even be necessary to have a “1:1″ ratio for posts, or an “80:20″ ratio for marketing vs. posting.
Yes, you read that correctly.
I’m saying that posting 1 guest post for every post on your blog can be the ideal way to actually build an audience.
I’m also saying that, in some cases, spending upwards of 50, 60, 70, or even 80% of your time marketing your posts can be the way to go.
As a new blog, you should be focusing on creating a unique angle and outstanding content: don’t worry about posting once a day, that’s a load of bull.
Instead, create posts that are worthy of promotion, and spend the next week promoting the hell out of them (and your blog in general) with guest posts, emails, networking, etc.
Sounds goofy, but people far more experienced than me will tell you the same thing.
People like to think great content promotes itself, and that’s true, but in such a crowded place as the internet, who’s going to get the ball rolling?
The answer: you.

5. Envy/Lust/Wrath

I’ve combined the last 3 sings because they all relate to one thing (in my eyes)…
Caring too much about what other’s are doing.
It’s easy to get envious of others reach & audience, lustful of their income, and even angry that you cannot seem to do the same.
But such is business, and such is life.
Everybody has to start from square one in some fashion or another, and worrying about others does nothing for your own projects.
It’s okay to “observe” others; learning from people who’s advice you actually trust is a great way to skip having the same failures as them.
Be wary though: in the world of online marketing, there are some seriously shady characters.
What to be weary of: “Quick” fixes to anything, bizopps that target people who are total beginners in business, software that promises the world, people selling shady SEO techniques, anything that makes a process you know to be a lot of work (like building a successful blog) look easy; if it looks too good to be true, it’s a scam.

World War I

World War I (WWI), which was predominantly called the World War or the Great War from its occurrence until 1939, and the First World War or World War I thereafter, was a major war centred in Europe that began on 28 July 1914 and lasted until 11 November 1918. It involved all the world's great powers,^[5] which were assembled in two opposing alliances: the Allies (based on the Triple Entente of the United Kingdom, France and Russia) and the Central Powers (originally centred around the Triple Alliance of Germany, Austria-Hungary and Italy; but, as Austria–Hungary had taken the offensive against the agreement, Italy did not enter into the war).^[6] These alliances both reorganised (Italy fought for the Allies), and expanded as more nations entered the war. Ultimately more than 70 million military personnel, including 60 million Europeans, were mobilised in one of the largest wars in history.^[7][8] More than 9 million combatants were killed, largely because of great technological advances in firepower without corresponding advances in mobility. It was the sixth-deadliest conflict in world history, subsequently paving the way for various political changes such as revolutions in the nations involved.^[9]
Long-term causes of the war included the imperialistic foreign policies of the great powers of Europe, including the German Empire, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Ottoman Empire, the Russian Empire, the British Empire, the French Republic, and Italy. The assassination on 28 June 1914 of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, by a Yugoslav nationalist in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina was the proximate trigger of the war. It resulted in a Habsburg ultimatum against the Kingdom of Serbia.^[10][11] Several alliances formed over the previous decades were invoked, so within weeks the major powers were at war; via their colonies, the conflict soon spread around the world.
On 28 July, the conflict opened with the Austro-Hungarian invasion of Serbia,^[12][13] followed by the German invasion of Belgium, Luxembourg and France; and a Russian attack against Germany. After the German march on Paris was brought to a halt, the Western Front settled into a static battle of attrition with a trench line that changed little until 1917. In the East, the Russian army successfully fought against the Austro-Hungarian forces but was forced back by the German army. Additional fronts opened after the Ottoman Empire joined the war in 1914, Italy and Bulgaria in 1915 and Romania in 1916. The Russian Empire collapsed in March 1917, and Russia left the war after the October Revolution later that year. After a 1918 German offensive along the western front, United States forces entered the trenches and the Allies drove back the German armies in a series of successful offensives. Germany, which had its own trouble with revolutionaries at this point, agreed to a cease-fire on 11 November 1918, later known as Armistice Day. The war had ended in victory for the Allies.
Events on the home fronts were as tumultuous as on the battle fronts, as the participants tried to mobilize their manpower and economic resources to fight a total war. By the end of the war, four major imperial powers —the German, Russian, Austro-Hungarian and Ottoman empires— ceased to exist. The successor states of the former two lost a great amount of territory, while the latter two were dismantled entirely. The map of central Europe was redrawn into several smaller states.^[14] The League of Nations was formed in the hope of preventing another such conflict. The European nationalism spawned by the war and the breakup of empires, the repercussions of Germany's defeat and problems with the Treaty of Versailles are generally agreed to be factors contributing to World War II.

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The Frog Prince

1
One fine evening a young princess put on her bonnet and clogs, and went out to take a walk by herself in a wood; and when she came to a cool spring of water with a rose in the middle of it, she sat herself down to rest a while. Now she had a golden ball in her hand, which was her favourite plaything; and she was always tossing it up into the air, and catching it again as it fell.
After a time she threw it up so high that she missed catching it as it fell; and the ball bounded away, and rolled along on the ground, until at last it fell down into the spring. The princess looked into the spring after her ball, but it was very deep, so deep that she could not see the bottom of it. She began to cry, and said, 'Alas! if I could only get my ball again, I would give all my fine clothes and jewels, and everything that I have in the world.'
Whilst she was speaking, a frog put its head out of the water, and said, 'Princess, why do you weep so bitterly?'
'Alas!' said she, 'what can you do for me, you nasty frog? My golden ball has fallen into the spring.'
The frog said, 'I do not want your pearls, and jewels, and fine clothes; but if you will love me, and let me live with you and eat from off your golden plate, and sleep on your bed, I will bring you your ball again.'
'What nonsense,' thought the princess, 'this silly frog is talking! He can never even get out of the spring to visit me, though he may be able to get my ball for me, and therefore I will tell him he shall have what he asks.'
So she said to the frog, 'Well, if you will bring me my ball, I will do all you ask.'
Then the frog put his head down, and dived deep under the water; and after a little while he came up again, with the ball in his mouth, and threw it on the edge of the spring.
As soon as the young princess saw her ball, she ran to pick it up; and she was so overjoyed to have it in her hand again, that she never thought of the frog, but ran home with it as fast as she could.

2
The frog called after her, 'Stay, princess, and take me with you as you said,'
But she did not stop to hear a word.
The next day, just as the princess had sat down to dinner, she heard a strange noise - tap, tap - plash, plash - as if something was coming up the marble staircase, and soon afterwards there was a gentle knock at the door, and a little voice cried out and said:

'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

Then the princess ran to the door and opened it, and there she saw the frog, whom she had quite forgotten. At this sight she was sadly frightened, and shutting the door as fast as she could came back to her seat.
The king, her father, seeing that something had frightened her, asked her what was the matter.
'There is a nasty frog,' said she, 'at the door, that lifted my ball for me out of the spring this morning. I told him that he should live with me here, thinking that he could never get out of the spring; but there he is at the door, and he wants to come in.'
While she was speaking the frog knocked again at the door, and said:

'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

Then the king said to the young princess, 'As you have given your word you must keep it; so go and let him in.'
She did so, and the frog hopped into the room, and then straight on - tap, tap - plash, plash - from the bottom of the room to the top, till he came up close to the table where the princess sat.
'Pray lift me upon chair,' said he to the princess, 'and let me sit next to you.'
As soon as she had done this, the frog said, 'Put your plate nearer to me, that I may eat out of it.'
This she did, and when he had eaten as much as he could, he said, 'Now I am tired; carry me upstairs, and put me into your bed.' And the princess, though very unwilling, took him up in her hand, and put him upon the pillow of her own bed, where he slept all night long.

3 As soon as it was light the frog jumped up, hopped downstairs, and went out of the house.
'Now, then,' thought the princess, 'at last he is gone, and I shall be troubled with him no more.'
But she was mistaken; for when night came again she heard the same tapping at the door; and the frog came once more, and said:

'Open the door, my princess dear,
Open the door to thy true love here!
And mind the words that thou and I said
By the fountain cool, in the greenwood shade.'

And when the princess opened the door the frog came in, and slept upon her pillow as before, till the morning broke. And the third night he did the same. But when the princess awoke on the following morning she was astonished to see, instead of the frog, a handsome prince, gazing on her with the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen and standing at the head of her bed.
He told her that he had been enchanted by a spiteful fairy, who had changed him into a frog; and that he had been fated so to abide till some princess should take him out of the spring, and let him eat from her plate, and sleep upon her bed for three nights.
'You,' said the prince, 'have broken his cruel charm, and now I have nothing to wish for but that you should go with me into my father's kingdom, where I will marry you, and love you as long as you live.'
The young princess, you may be sure, was not long in saying 'Yes' to all this; and as they spoke a brightly coloured coach drove up, with eight beautiful horses, decked with plumes of feathers and a golden harness; and behind the coach rode the prince's servant, faithful Heinrich, who had bewailed the misfortunes of his dear master during his enchantment so long and so bitterly, that his heart had well-nigh burst.
They then took leave of the king, and got into the coach with eight horses, and all set out, full of joy and merriment, for the prince's kingdom, which they reached safely; and there they lived happily a great many years.

Mr Sticky

No one knew how Mr. Sticky got in the fish tank.
"He's very small," Mum said as she peered at the tiny water snail. "Just a black dot."
"He'll grow," said Abby and pulled her pyjama bottoms up again before she got into bed. They were always falling down.

In the morning Abby jumped out of bed and switched on the light in her fish tank.
Gerry, the fat orange goldfish, was dozing inside the stone archway. Jaws was already awake, swimming along the front of the tank with his white tail floating and twitching. It took Abby a while to find Mr. Sticky because he was clinging to the glass near the bottom, right next to the gravel.
At school that day she wrote about the mysterious Mr. Sticky who was so small you could mistake him for a piece of gravel. Some of the girls in her class said he seemed an ideal pet for her and kept giggling about it.
That night Abby turned on the light to find Mr. Sticky clinging to the very tiniest, waviest tip of the pond weed. It was near the water filter so he was bobbing about in the air bubbles.
"That looks fun," Abby said. She tried to imagine what it must be like to have to hang on to things all day and decided it was probably very tiring. She fed the fish then lay on her bed and watched them chase each other round and round the archway. When they stopped Gerry began nibbling at the pond weed with his big pouty lips. He sucked Mr. Sticky into his mouth then blew him back out again in a stream of water. The snail floated down to the bottom of the tank among the coloured gravel.

"I think he's grown a bit," Abby told her Mum at breakfast the next day.
"Just as well if he's going to be gobbled up like that," her Mum said, trying to put on her coat and eat toast at the same time.
"But I don't want him to get too big or he won't be cute anymore. Small things are cute aren't they?"
"Yes they are. But big things can be cute too. Now hurry up, I'm going to miss my train."

At school that day, Abby drew an elephant. She needed two pieces of expensive paper to do both ends but the teacher didn't mind because she was pleased with the drawing and wanted it on the wall. They sellotaped them together, right across the elephant's middle. In the corner of the picture, Abby wrote her full name, Abigail, and drew tiny snails for the dots on the 'i's The teacher said that was very creative.

At the weekend they cleaned out the tank. "There's a lot of algae on the sides," Mum said. "I'm not sure Mr. Sticky's quite up to the job yet."
They scooped the fish out and put them in a bowl while they emptied some of the water. Mr. Sticky stayed out of the way, clinging to the glass while Mum used the special 'vacuum cleaner' to clean the gravel. Abby trimmed the new pieces of pond weed down to size and scrubbed the archway and the filter tube. Mum poured new water into the tank.
"Where's Mr. Sticky?" Abby asked.
"On the side," Mum said. She was busy concentrating on the water. "Don't worry I was careful."
Abby looked on all sides of the tank. There was no sign of the water snail.
"He's probably in the gravel then," her mum said. "Come on let's get this finished. I've got work to do." She plopped the fish back in the clean water where they swam round and round, looking puzzled.

That evening Abby went up to her bedroom to check the tank. The water had settled and looked lovely and clear but there was no sign of Mr. Sticky. She lay on her bed and did some exercises, stretching out her legs and feet and pointing her toes. Stretching was good for your muscles and made you look tall a model had said on the t.v. and she looked enormous. When Abby had finished, she kneeled down to have another look in the tank but there was still no sign of Mr. Sticky. She went downstairs.

Her mum was in the study surrounded by papers. She had her glasses on and her hair was all over the place where she'd been running her hands through it. She looked impatient when she saw Abby in the doorway and even more impatient when she heard the bad news.
"He'll turn up." was all she said. "Now off to bed Abby. I've got masses of work to catch up on."
Abby felt her face go hot and red. It always happened when she was angry or upset.
"You've hoovered him up haven't you," she said. You were in such a rush you hoovered him up."
"I have not. I was very careful. But he is extremely small."
"What's wrong with being small?"

"Nothing at all. But it makes things hard to find."
"Or notice," Abby said and ran from the room.

The door to the bedroom opened and Mum's face appeared around the crack. Abby tried to ignore her but it was hard when she walked over to the bed and sat next to her. She was holding her glasses in her hand. She waved them at Abby.
"These are my new pair," she said. "Extra powerful, for snail hunting." She smiled at Abby. Abby tried not to smile back.
"And I've got a magnifying glass," Abby suddenly remembered and rushed off to find it.
They sat beside each other on the floor. On their knees they shuffled around the tank, peering into the corners among the big pebbles, at the gravel and the pondweed.
"Ah ha!" Mum suddenly cried.
"What?" Abby moved her magnifying glass to where her mum was pointing.
There, tucked in the curve of the archway, perfectly hidden against the dark stone, sat Mr. Sticky. And right next to him was another water snail, even smaller than him.
"Mrs Sticky!" Abby breathed. "But where did she come from?"
"I'm beginning to suspect the pond weed don't you think?"
They both laughed and climbed into Abby's bed together, cuddling down under the duvet. It was cozy but a bit of a squeeze.
"Budge up," Mum said, giving Abby a push with her bottom.
"I can't, I'm already on the edge."
"My goodness you've grown then. When did that happen? You could have put an elephant in here last time we did this."
Abby put her head on her mum's chest and smiled.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

There was a king who had twelve beautiful daughters. They slept in twelve beds all in one room and when they went to bed, the doors were shut and locked up. However, every morning their shoes were found to be quite worn through as if they had been danced in all night. Nobody could find out how it happened, or where the princesses had been.
So the king made it known to all the land that if any person could discover the secret and find out where it was that the princesses danced in the night, he would have the one he liked best to take as his wife, and would be king after his death. But whoever tried and did not succeed, after three days and nights, they would be put to death.
A king's son soon came. He was well entertained, and in the evening was taken to the chamber next to the one where the princesses lay in their twelve beds. There he was to sit and watch where they went to dance; and, in order that nothing could happen without him hearing it, the door of his chamber was left open. But the king's son soon fell asleep; and when he awoke in the morning he found that the princesses had all been dancing, for the soles of their shoes were full of holes.
The same thing happened the second and third night and so the king ordered his head to be cut off.
After him came several others; but they all had the same luck, and all lost their lives in the same way.
Now it happened that an old soldier, who had been wounded in battle and could fight no longer, passed through the country where this king reigned, and as he was travelling through a wood, he met an old woman, who asked him where he was going.
'I hardly know where I am going, or what I had better do,' said the soldier; 'but I think I would like to find out where it is that the princesses dance, and then in time I might be a king.'
'Well,' said the old woman, 'that is not a very hard task: only take care not to drink any of the wine which one of the princesses will bring to you in the evening; and as soon as she leaves you pretend to be fast asleep.'

Then she gave him a cloak, and said, 'As soon as you put that on you will become invisible, and you will then be able to follow the princesses wherever they go.' When the soldier heard all this good advice, he was determined to try his luck, so he went to the king, and said he was willing to undertake the task.
He was as well received as the others had been, and the king ordered fine royal robes to be given him; and when the evening came he was led to the outer chamber.
Just as he was going to lie down, the eldest of the princesses brought him a cup of wine; but the soldier threw it all away secretly, taking care not to drink a drop. Then he laid himself down on his bed, and in a little while began to snore very loudly as if he was fast asleep.
When the twelve princesses heard this they laughed heartily; and the eldest said, 'This fellow too might have done a wiser thing than lose his life in this way!' Then they rose and opened their drawers and boxes, and took out all their fine clothes, and dressed themselves at the mirror, and skipped about as if they were eager to begin dancing.
But the youngest said, 'I don't know why it is, but while you are so happy I feel very uneasy; I am sure some mischance will befall us.'
'You simpleton,' said the eldest, 'you are always afraid; have you forgotten how many kings' sons have already watched in vain? And as for this soldier, even if I had not given him his sleeping draught, he would have slept soundly enough.'
When they were all ready, they went and looked at the soldier; but he snored on, and did not stir hand or foot: so they thought they were quite safe.
Then the eldest went up to her own bed and clapped her hands, and the bed sank into the floor and a trap-door flew open. The soldier saw them going down through the trap-door one after another, the eldest leading the way; and thinking he had no time to lose, he jumped up, put on the cloak which the old woman had given him, and followed them.
However, in the middle of the stairs he trod on the gown of the youngest princess, and she cried out to her sisters, 'All is not right; someone took hold of my gown.'
'You silly creature!' said the eldest, 'it is nothing but a nail in the wall.'
Down they all went, and at the bottom they found themselves in a most delightful grove of trees; and the leaves were all of silver, and glittered and sparkled beautifully. The soldier wished to take away some token of the place; so he broke off a little branch, and there came a loud noise from the tree. Then the youngest daughter said again, 'I am sure all is not right -- did not you hear that noise? That never happened before.'
But the eldest said, 'It is only our princes, who are shouting for joy at our approach.'
They came to another grove of trees, where all the leaves were of gold; and afterwards to a third, where the leaves were all glittering diamonds. And the soldier broke a branch from each; and every time there was a loud noise, which made the youngest sister tremble with fear. But the eldest still said it was only the princes, who were crying for joy.
They went on till they came to a great lake; and at the side of the lake there lay twelve little boats with twelve handsome princes in them, who seemed to be waiting there for the princesses.
One of the princesses went into each boat, and the soldier stepped into the same boat as the youngest. As they were rowing over the lake, the prince who was in the boat with the youngest princess and the soldier said, 'I do not know why it is, but though I am rowing with all my might we do not get on so fast as usual, and I am quite tired: the boat seems very heavy today.'
'It is only the heat of the weather,' said the princess, 'I am very warm, too.'
On the other side of the lake stood a fine, illuminated castle from which came the merry music of horns and trumpets. There they all landed, and went into the castle, and each prince danced with his princess; and the soldier, who was still invisible, danced with them too. When any of the princesses had a cup of wine set by her, he drank it all up, so that when she put the cup to her mouth it was empty. At this, too, the youngest sister was terribly frightened, but the eldest always silenced her.
They danced on till three o'clock in the morning, and then all their shoes were worn out, so that they were obliged to leave. The princes rowed them back again over the lake (but this time the soldier placed himself in the boat with the eldest princess); and on the opposite shore they took leave of each other, the princesses promising to come again the next night.
When they came to the stairs, the soldier ran on before the princesses, and laid himself down. And as the twelve, tired sisters slowly came up, they heard him snoring in his bed and they said, 'Now all is quite safe'. Then they undressed themselves, put away their fine clothes, pulled off their shoes, and went to bed.
In the morning the soldier said nothing about what had happened, but determined to see more of this strange adventure, and went again on the second and third nights. Everything happened just as before: the princesses danced till their shoes were worn to pieces, and then returned home. On the third night the soldier carried away one of the golden cups as a token of where he had been.
As soon as the time came when he was to declare the secret, he was taken before the king with the three branches and the golden cup; and the twelve princesses stood listening behind the door to hear what he would say.
The king asked him. 'Where do my twelve daughters dance at night?'
The soldier answered, 'With twelve princes in a castle underground.' And then he told the king all that had happened, and showed him the three branches and the golden cup which he had brought with him.
The king called for the princesses, and asked them whether what the soldier said was true and when they saw that they were discovered, and that it was of no use to deny what had happened, they confessed it all.
So the king asked the soldier which of the princesses he would choose for his wife; and he answered, 'I am not very young, so I will have the eldest.' -- and they were married that very day, and the soldier was chosen to be the king's heir.

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The 20 Best Ozzie Guillen Misquotes

Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen is currently taking a break from the team’s road trip for a pit stop in Miami to dish out a few thousand apologies for a comment he recently made to Time magazine. If you’re unfamiliar – and chances are you’re not – here’s the comment:

“I love Fidel Castro. I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that mother*cker is still here.”

People in Miami hate Castro, in case you haven’t read a history book in the past 60 years, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that anti-Castro groups are absolutely losing their sh*t over this incredibly stupid comment, and the Marlins already responded by suspending Guillen for 5 games. And the main reason I'm calling it stupid is because you shouldn’t ever say the phrase “I love Fidel Castro.” Even if the guy cures puppy AIDS, your response should still be: "That was cool, but Fidel Castro is still an assbag."
I understand what Guillen was trying to say, but as usual he didn’t put much thought into what he was actually saying and who he was saying it to. So it didn’t take too long for the Internet to react and of course the people who didn’t get it freaked out and called for Guillen’s head and the people who did get it turned it into the joke of the day.
Daniel Tosh got it and he created #OzzieMisquotes on Twitter to mostly humorous results. I say mostly because a lot of people – A LOT – didn’t understand the joke and either took offense to the responses or made terrible jokes in response. I hate being a soap box guy here about Twitter, but whichever presidential candidate vows to clean up bad jokes on Twitter will get my vote.
That said, here are my 20 favorite #OzzieMisquotes from yesterday.
(Banner via Getty)

Ozzie Guillen Suspended By Marlins For Fidel Castro Comments

MIAMI — A contrite Ozzie Guillen sat in the heart of Little Havana seeking forgiveness for what the Miami Marlins manager called the biggest mistake of his life – saying he admired Fidel Castro.
This wasn't some offhanded insult about a sports writer, the type of thing that got the outspoken Guillen in trouble in Chicago. This was personal to the fan base that the Marlins rely on so much that they built their new stadium in the middle of the city's Cuban-American neighborhood.
Castro is the sworn enemy of those fans.
So after being suspended for five games Tuesday, the Marlins manager tried to quell the tempest.
"I'm here on my knees to apologize," Guillen said.
"I'm very sorry about the problem, what happened. I will do everything in my power to make it better. ... When you make a mistake like this, you can't sleep."
A chastened Guillen, who has a history of polarizing comments about gays and immigrants, among others, spoke without a script and made no disclaimers. He said he'll do whatever he can to repair relations with Cuban-Americans angered by his praise of the Cuban dictator, remarks he said he didn't mean.
Guillen, who is Venezuelan, told Time magazine he loves Castro and respects the retired Cuban leader for staying in power so long. In response, at least two Miami politicians said Guillen should lose his job. Callers on Spanish-language radio in Miami agreed and 100 demonstrators picketed Marlins Park toting signs like "NO APOLOGIES FIRE HIM NOW."
"He is full with hypocrisy," said Luis Martinez, who has lived in Miami since the late 1950s. "I don't accept any kind of pardon from him. They should get him out."

The team didn't consider firing Guillen or asking him to resign five games into his tenure, Marlins president David Samson said.
Guillen was hired to help usher in a new baseball era for the Marlins, saddled in recent years with mediocre teams and worse attendance. The team was to rely on South Florida's large Cuban-American population to help rebuild its fan base with the $634 million ballpark that opened last week.
At the hourlong news conference Tuesday morning, there was little evidence of Guillen's roguish charm or quick wit, which have made him a favorite with fans and reporters since he became a major league manager in 2004. Speaking somberly, he took full responsibility for his comments, but said they were misinterpreted by Time's reporter.
"It was a personal mistake of the thing I had in my mind and what I said," Guillen said in Spanish. "What I wanted to say in Spanish, I said in English in a wrong way."
Guillen said he doesn't love or admire Castro.
"I was saying I cannot believe somebody who hurt so many people over the years is still alive," he said.
Time said Tuesday it stands by its story.
Guillen said the uproar he created has left him sad, embarrassed and feeling stupid. He said he accepted the team's punishment.
"When you're a sportsman, you shouldn't be involved with politics," he said.
"I'm going to be a Miami guy for the rest of my life. I want to walk in the street with my head up and feel not this bad, the way I feel now."
Guillen has gotten in trouble before on issues ranging from sexual orientation to illegal immigration. Just last week, he boasted about getting drunk after games.
Those episodes quickly faded. But on South Florida's scale of political incorrectness, praise for Castro is a home run, and it was unclear how long it would take for anger toward Guillen to subside.
Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig said the remarks "have no place in our game" and were "offensive to an important part of the Miami community and others throughout the world."
"As I have often said, baseball is a social institution with important social responsibilities," Selig added in a statement. "All of our 30 clubs play significant roles within their local communities, and I expect those who represent Major League Baseball to act with the kind of respect and sensitivity that the game's many cultures deserve."
Marlins officials said Guillen still had the support of the organization.
"We believe in him," said Samson, the team president. "We believe in his apology. We believe everybody deserves a second chance." He said he expected no further punishment from MLB.
Guillen apologized over the weekend after his remarks were published in Time, then left his team in Philadelphia, where the Marlins were playing the Phillies, and flew to Miami.
The teams resume their three-game series Wednesday in Philadelphia. Guillen said he'll be there to apologize to his players, but he won't be in the dugout. Bench coach Joey Cora will be the interim manager.
"The Marlins acknowledge the seriousness of the comments attributed to Guillen," read a statement from the team. "The pain and suffering caused by Fidel Castro cannot be minimized, especially in a community filled with victims of the dictatorship."
The suspension, which takes effect immediately, recalled the punishment given to Marge Schott, the late owner of the Cincinnati Reds. Schott so embarrassed baseball in the 1990s with her inflammatory racial remarks and fond recollections of Adolf Hitler that she was suspended from ownership duties for a season.
"After spending years of my life with Ozzie Guillen, I can honestly say he has never been this apologetic," tweeted former slugger Frank Thomas, who played for Guillen with the Chicago White Sox. "I know he is really hurting inside for what he said. If you really know him this was not his intentions at all."
In Cuba, a column posted on multiple state-run and pro-government websites said the backlash against Guillen showed Miami has become "a banana republic" that censors unpopular opinions.
"The sensationalist and cowed Miami press, the politicians, have used these declaration of his to raise a scandal and in passing try to win visibility and votes for the upcoming elections," wrote Edmundo Garcia. "Some want to prohibit thoughts and opinions that differ from theirs."
About 100 reporters, photographers and cameramen attended Guillen's news conference, a turnout to rival some late-season Marlins crowds in years gone by.
Guillen sat alone at the podium and began in Spanish, speaking without notes for several minutes before taking questions. Shortly after he started, his voice wavered mid-sentence. He paused to take a sip of water and clear his throat.
"This is the biggest mistake I've made so far in my life," Guillen said.
Guillen spoke in Spanish for about 80 percent of the news conference. Guillen said he was suspended without pay, but Samson later said the manager will be paid and will donate the money to Miami human-rights causes.
___
Associated Press writers David Ginsburg in Baltimore, Janie McCauley in San Francisco, Peter Orsi in Havana and Gisela Salomon in Miami contributed to this report.