A few weeks ago, my friend Tessa made a Facebook status that really
hit home: “I will spend my whole life trying to figure out why it's not
socially acceptable to point out people's obesity, but it's perfectly
fine to torment people for being too skinny.”
I completely agree
with her. Although people realize it is rude to call out someone who is
overweight, somehow it is socially acceptable to tear down people –
especially women – who are “too skinny.” I have been thin my whole life,
but I never really thought about it in a negative way until I went to a
friend’s house before a middle school dance. As we were getting ready
together, she said to me and my other friend, who was also very skinny,
“Did you know some people at school think you guys are anorexic?”
Surprisingly
enough, I wasn’t terribly insulted. I knew it wasn’t true, and I knew
that was all that mattered. However, I think the fact that I can still
vividly remember that question is a testament to how it affected me. I
know it made me more self-conscious, and since then I have always felt
the need to prove that I have healthy eating habits. Especially in high
school, I always made a big deal out of what I was eating. I would so
often joke about how I was always eating that it eventually became a
running joke among my friends. Luckily, I had a solid group of friends
and a supportive family who encouraged me to have a positive body image.
However, I worried about what strangers thought of me. Sometimes when I
ate with acquaintances, I would go to the bathroom after I ate and I
worried, “Will they think I’m trying to make myself throw up?”
Societal
messages reinforce this need to prove myself. While it seems that women
are scrambling to get skinny with crash diets and crazy workout
routines, there is also the idea out there that “real women have
curves.” Many of these ideas are a response to the fact that the media
often glorifies thinness. While encouraging girls to be dangerously thin
is certainly wrong, the correct response should not be demeaning
naturally thin girls.
For example, you can like a Facebook page
called “Curvy girls are better than skinny girls!” Likewise, articles
like this one suggest that curvy women are funnier, more loveable and
overall better than skinny women. Sometimes women are even told men
won’t like them if they’re too skinny.
Of course acceptance of all
body types important, but is a person really less attractive or even
less human because she doesn’t have curves? Are thin girls imaginary?
Curvy women don’t have to gain body confidence or self-esteem by
degrading skinny ladies or by saying they’re “not real.” We are all
equally human, and although some very thin women have genuine eating
disorders, that doesn’t mean all of us do.
This overall negative
attitude can lead to a negative body image among thinner people.
According to Planned Parenthood’s Health and Information Services, a
negative body image can lead to increased anxiety and depression, poor
self-esteem, less social interaction and cessation of healthy activities
that require people to show their bodies (for example, swimming,
exercising and going to the doctor). Researchers at Bradley Hospital,
Butler Hospital and Brown's Alpert Medical School have shown that body
image is linked to physical health. According to a Science Daily article,
teenage patients with negative body images were “more severely ill than
other adolescent inpatients in a number of important domains.” The
study’s lead author, Jennifer Dyl, Ph.D., said, “These findings
underscore just how central feelings about one's appearance tend to be
in the world of teenagers and how impairing these concerns can be.”
Celebrities
and journalists have also noticed the double standard regarding weight.
Kendall Jenner from “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” discussed her
weight in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar. “I’m constantly criticized
for being too skinny,” Jenner said.
“I’m trying to gain weight but my body won’t let it happen. What people
don’t understand is that calling someone too skinny is the same as
calling someone too fat, it’s not a nice feeling.”
Similarly, a Contra Costa Times article
discussed the idea, highlighting the difficulties “naturally skinny”
people have even though many of them are healthy. Although there’s no
need to walk on eggshells when talking to skinny ladies, the article
quotes marriage and family therapist Margie Ryerson, who said that
comments on a person’s weight can be hurtful.
“Even if it comes
from a sense of caring, it’s not appropriate and can create distress and
unhappiness for the person,” Ryerson said. “They can feel blamed and
criticized.”
Overall, it’s important to remember that calling
someone “too skinny” or claiming “real women have curves” can be hurtful
to women who are thin. Skinny girls are insecure sometimes too, and no
woman’s weight determines her beauty.
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